The Very Essence of Love Read online

  The morning passed quickly between shopping and looking after the Gardiner twins. Jane was growing impatient with the time, but when they arrived at the house, she was more tranquil.

  They were welcomed by Mrs. Annesley, who directed them directly towards the drawing-room. Miss Darcy was already there, waiting with subdued excitement for the visit. She informed her guests that the Colonel would not be joining them. The conversation flowed naturally among the ladies as Miss Darcy asked for more details of Mrs. Gardiner’s time in Derbyshire. She proved to be of a curious nature, asking questions about the most unexpected subjects. Jane saw little resemblance between her and Mr. Darcy. The gentleman had been most reserved and aloof during their first encounters, but his sister strove to participate in the conversation as much as possible.

  When Miss Bingley’s name was mentioned in their conversation, Jane remarked as little as possible about the acquaintance she claimed with her. Miss Darcy praised her highly with natural affection, for she was a frequent visitor to the house, but spoke nothing of Mr. Bingley, which both perplexed and relieved Jane equally.

  “Maybe she is prudent not to mention his interest,” Jane thought, “I cannot claim to know how things truly are between them.”

  Miss Darcy concluded the afternoon by displaying her skills at the pianoforte, which were superior to anything Jane had heard before. When the visit ended, it was clear that the young ladies had been amused by each other’s company, and Mrs. Gardiner invited Miss Darcy to visit them as soon as possible, which she accepted wholeheartedly. In the carriage, Mrs. Gardiner commented to her niece what a delightful afternoon it had been.

  “Yes,” Jane accepted, “I must tell you that I do not recall an afternoon when I had a more pleasing time.”

  “Miss Darcy is truly delightful, and she has taken to you effortlessly. She is a child in many respects, but she is well-mannered, elegant and courteous.” Mrs. Gardiner stopped for a second before voicing what Jane had been thinking all along. “It is curious though that she did not mention anything about Mr. Bingley. I find that rather strange.”

  “I do not know what to tell you, Aunt. And I prefer not to think of it either. I would rather keep this afternoon as it is and leave such a consideration for another moment.”

  On the following day, Jane was in a much livelier state and her sleep had been better. She spent the morning with her aunt in the drawing-room and at noon returned to the seamstress the Gardiners used, accompanied by a maid, to make adjustments to her favourite dress. Since she had promised to bring the twins sweets, Jane stopped at a famous confectioner to buy dried fruits, which were most favoured by the twins. She made her purchase, and as she exited the shop, she recognised some familiar faces. Miss Caroline Bingley and Mrs. Hurst were stepping down from their carriage. Jane thought that Miss Bingley was not surprised to see her, as though such an encounter was expected.

  Jane greeted them and once the pleasantries were over, Miss Bingley said, “I hear we have a new mutual acquaintance in town, Miss Bennet.” Miss Bingley’s voice was as cold as it had been when they last saw each other, but Jane was, this time, less impressed by it.

  “Miss Darcy has been extremely kind to offer me her friendship,” she said with due modesty.

  “Friendship? Well, I would say it is rather premature to call it a friendship after only a couple of visits.” Jane said nothing else, knowing the words were meant to hurt. “If you will allow me a word of advice, Miss Bennet, do not take the familiarity you have with Miss Darcy as an attempt to attract the attention of a certain gentleman. You may find that such antics work in Hertfordshire, but this is new territory and I speak with confidence when I say that not everyone will like it.”

  Jane was mortified but gave no reply. Instead, she bid the ladies a hasty farewell and returned home.

  Chapter 5

  Elizabeth’s spirits were high with enjoyment for the whole journey to Hunsford. They had departed two days later than originally planned, due to the swelling on her leg that had been deemed to be an inconvenience. She was optimistic though, encouraging Sir William to forward the plans of their journey to reach Mr. Collins’ house as soon as possible and allow Mrs. Gardiner and Jane to see less suffering on her part. When she was inside the carriage, she was relieved to leave Jane in a healthy state of mind and much more tranquil than she had previously hoped.

  The rest of the journey proved delightful, although as they travelled further into Kent, rain accompanied them. The novelty of the scenery entertained her mind with thousands of reflections about how beautiful the change of seasons must have been in this part of the country. When they left the high road for the lane to Hunsford the rain had stopped and she could remark on the palings of Rosings Park instantly and smiled, thinking of what she had heard about its inhabitants.

  Mr. Collins was the first one to welcome them, although unintentionally, as he was returning from visiting a parishioner who had fallen ill and encountered them in the lane. He joined them in the carriage for the remainder of the journey, sitting next to his cousin, detailing to the whole party whatever he felt could be of interest to them.

  The Parsonage was cosy, as Elizabeth had expected, with sufficient room for both a garden and a small shelter for chickens, who were indifferent to the separation between the two.

  “I must say at once that Mrs. Collins and I have managed to impress even her ladyship with what we have achieved here. She said she had never seen a more sensible use of the property. Of course, she has offered us her invaluable advice.”

  “Yes, she is kind enough to stop her carriage each time she passes by to tell us something about the house,” Charlotte added to her husband’s words and Elizabeth could not be sure whether she had detected a mischievous tone in her voice. She smiled politely, allowing her hosts to continue the introduction to their property. Sir William admired everything in great awe, rewarding his daughter with multiple compliments. Maria Lucas expressed her wish to be taken to her chamber for she was tired, while Elizabeth admired and valued her friend’s work to an appropriate degree. Refreshments were offered at once in the small parlour, but only Elizabeth agreed to partake.

  In the comfort of her friendship with Elizabeth, Charlotte spoke of her life since she married; she had satisfactions as well as small disappointments. Elizabeth could not but admire that in spite of it all, Charlotte was objective in appraising her life, without making it out to be more of a success than it truly was, as her husband had done.

  “Life is equally fair and unjust, Lizzy. Of course, I would like to run my household as I choose, but one cannot always do as they please. We have to do our best in the circumstances offered to us.”

  Elizabeth agreed and gave her friend the praise she deserved. Their conversation was cut short when it was interrupted by Mr. Collins, who had received a letter from Rosings Park.

  “My dear wife, we are expected at once to go and pay her ladyship our respects. She has been informed that our guests have arrived and demands to meet them. Come, let us not make her ladyship wait!”

  His agitation took hold of the house at once. Maria Lucas had managed to change her attire and looked presentable, Sir William changed his coat and was as good as new, only Elizabeth was still dressed in her travelling clothes, but a quick glance in the mirror told her she was presentable enough for a brief introduction. There was no carriage sent from Rosings – in spite of assurance from Mr. Collins that such things happened often – and the party was forced to walk. Elizabeth did not mind. It was a most welcome exercise after being seated in the carriage for an extensive time and she delighted in the walk. By the time she reached the park, her petticoat, as well as Maria’s, were covered in fresh mud. Mr. Collins reprimanded his wife for not having taken care of her guests and several minutes were spent trying to find a resolution. When Lady Catherine’s footman announced them into the drawing-room, Mr. Collins was even redder in the face than his relative, Sir William, who had not had so much exercise in a long time.r />
  Elizabeth could not hide a brief smile at what an unusual party they were; she was calm and felt like laughing from the silliness of having to hide that they had come on foot. Elizabeth was introduced to Lady Catherine at once, then to Mrs. Jenkinson, who lived at the house, and lastly to Lady Catherine’s daughter, Miss Anne de Bourgh. Except for Lady Catherine, none of the other persons present spoke a word, merely casting curious glances at the party.

  “Mr. Collins, why did you not send for a carriage to bring your guests to the house?” she uttered after carefully studying the party’s attire. Charlotte was tense as she gazed at Mr. Collins, who was trying to find a reply that would satisfy her ladyship. He found none.

  Instead, Elizabeth spoke, “Because I insisted that we walk here, your ladyship. The physician in London recommended that I walk as much as I can to fortify my leg. It is unfortunate that I did not take the weather into account.”

  “Are you well, Miss Elizabeth?”

  The voice expressing genuine worry about her well-being sounded familiar, too familiar to fool her hearing. Elizabeth turned to find Mr. Darcy standing in the room with a worried look upon his face.

  “Mr. Darcy,” she exclaimed, betraying her surprise at seeing the gentleman in the room. Elizabeth wondered whether he had been there all along or whether he was a figment of her imagination; she was sure that he had not been there when she was introduced. The pain in her leg, which until then had been almost gone, rose again violently and she felt a wave of heat in her body. Her face coloured, her embarrassment increasing with each moment. The gentleman had his attention fixed on her, and Elizabeth tried to take a few steps back, to break the intensity of his gaze, but it was not sufficient.

  “If you are feeling ill, you should take a seat and rest,” Mr. Darcy spoke, breaking the odd silence in the room. Elizabeth regained her composure at once on hearing his compassionate words and thanked the gentleman, assuring him there was no need for such an inconvenience.

  “How do you know my nephew, Miss Bennet?” Lady Catherine asked, annoyed by his intervention. Now that the shock of seeing him had passed, Elizabeth spoke more calmly, detailing the circumstances of her acquaintance with Mr. Darcy. She was not completely forthcoming in her story, leaving aside details that had tormented her during the last few months, and what she really thought of Mr. Darcy, whose eyes she felt on her for as long as she spoke. Lady Catherine went on to ask Elizabeth about her family and the possible connections she could have claimed in town, but found nothing to keep her interested.

  Once the short interview was concluded, Elizabeth was allowed to retire and sit on the sofa near the window, which was more comfortable. At some distance from the rest of the party, Charlotte thanked Elizabeth for having saved Mr. Collins from public reproach – which felt like a punishment each time it happened. Elizabeth made enquiries about Mr. Darcy’s presence at Rosings and Charlotte was only too willing to enlighten her.

  “He came less than a week before your arrival. We have not seen him much; I suspect he came here because of Miss de Bourgh. I heard from Mr. Collins that they are to be married as soon as Miss de Bourgh’s health improves.”

  Elizabeth could not resist her curiosity and cast a new look at the frail young lady sitting next to her mother. She was a woman of noble features, certainly taking after Lady Catherine who, in spite of the passing of time, still retained her former beauty. The pallor of Miss de Bourgh’s face, however, gave her an eerie look, like a creature who has not seen the sun in a long time. Her countenance betrayed how little interest she had in what was around her, barely exchanging words with Mrs. Jenkinson.

  “How could Mr. Darcy ever be tied to her even with a promise? Is it possible that he values money more than actual happiness? He seems so young and full of life.” Elizabeth lowered her head in embarrassment that she was indulging in thoughts about the gentleman she was determined to loathe. She did not dare to look at him again, as she was set on ignoring his presence altogether, for he was not deserving of her attention or consideration. The same thing could not be said about Mr. Darcy who, standing by himself near the mantlepiece, was studying everyone in the room at his leisure.

  “Do not fear, Lizzy,” Charlotte spoke, as though reading her mind, which made Elizabeth feel ashamed. “If we are fortunate, you shall not see Mr. Darcy often. Lady Catherine told Mr. Collins that we would be invited to dinner during your stay, but she changes her mind so often that perhaps we will not dine with her at all. I, for sure, wish it to be so.”

  Elizabeth was relieved to be left out of the general conversation in the room, which now passed to safe topics. Sir William was sufficiently impressed by Lady Catherine’s authority and agreed with all she said, regardless of the opinions she expressed, and she was glad to offer him advice and reprimand whatever did not meet with her approval.

  Elizabeth finished observing all the fine portraits in the room, giving each one an appropriate nickname; it was a form of amusement she allowed herself to have in the hope that the painful visit would soon come to an end. When her attention was fixed on the portrait of a gentleman riding a horse on a battlefield, she failed to observe Mr. Darcy approaching her.

  “Miss Elizabeth,” he almost whispered, involuntarily intensifying Elizabeth’s breathing for reasons she could not explain clearly. “I am happy to have met you again. I hope you are well.”

  Elizabeth thought of what she should answer him but could not find anything that would sound close to what she would have liked to tell him. Instead, she thanked him for his concern and added, determined to tease, “You have enquired about my health twice, Mr. Darcy, and I am content to tell you it has not worsened since.”

  Mr. Darcy was not intimidated by her words and continued, “I was told you were in London a couple of days ago.” As Elizabeth looked at him in confusion he elaborated, “My cousin, Colonel Fitzwilliam, wrote to me to tell me that he had made your acquaintance, as well as your sister’s.”

  Elizabeth found Mr. Darcy’s words infuriating. His audacity in mentioning Jane’s name felt more than she could bear. She knew not if he was teasing her in return, or just playing a game, pretending that he cared about Jane or herself. Elizabeth sustained Mr. Darcy’s gaze and with a calm voice she replied, “Yes, I have had that pleasure. Colonel Fitzwilliam is one of the most amiable gentlemen I have ever met. And I was most surprised to hear that you two are related, Mr. Darcy. Most surprised.”

  Mr. Darcy said nothing. After a few moments that seemed to stir something inside him, he bowed his head and left her presence.

  Chapter 6

  “I told you Lady Catherine would change her mind about inviting us to dinner,” Charlotte told Elizabeth once their small carriage arrived in front of the church.

  The church where Mr. Collins served was an old building, that for a long time had been neglected and abused by the weather, but one could see that the recent work of Mr. and Mrs. Collins had brought it new life. “Days have passed since you arrived and Mr. Collins is, I am afraid, still hopeful we might get an invitation. I am content that tomorrow is Sunday and he has to think of other things as well.”

  Elizabeth had agreed to help Charlotte to prepare the church for the following day. It was not a difficult task, nor would it demand more than half an hour of their time, but Elizabeth suspected that Charlotte had suggested they do it to avoid listening to Mr. Collins’ suppositions of the reasons Lady Catherine had not renewed her invitation.

  Elizabeth had her own reasons for not wanting to return to Rosings: she had no desire to see or speak to Mr. Darcy again. However, she could not help admitting to herself that the gentleman in question had been constantly on her mind since they last spoke. Her feelings about the encounter and what was said troubled her greatly; she was content that she had been true to her feelings about the gentleman, but she also felt she had been hurtful. Mr. Darcy had only wanted to carry on a civilised conversation; she, in her turn, managed to wound his pride. She winced at the remembrance of the
sincere pain she could read in his eyes before he departed from her side.

  None of this was revealed to Charlotte, or anyone else. She considered writing to Jane, but upon trying to put down the words, she found herself at a loss. “The most difficult task is to write your thoughts when they are not clear.” Besides, Jane had news of her own and her enlivened spirits should not be spoiled by her sister’s doubts and remorse.

  Elizabeth returned from church at noon and went directly to her chamber to re-read Jane’s letter. Jane’s friendship with Miss Darcy had progressed since the last time they were together. “Almost no day passed without an invitation being sent to and from Gracechurch Street.” The adjectives Jane used to describe Miss Darcy were heart-warming and Elizabeth felt almost jealous that someone else might occupy her place in Jane’s heart. There was still no mention of Mr. Bingley; he had not been spoken of between the two of them, nor had he paid Miss Darcy a visit.