The Very Essence of Love Read online

  “It does not mean anything!”

  “It is all right, Lizzy! Miss Bingley is an even more frequent visitor to the household. Miss Darcy thinks very highly of Mr. Bingley, and of his sister too.”

  “Because she doesn’t know her. If she knew her, she would not think that way.”

  “Lizzy, please!”

  “Yes… Miss Darcy did appear to have all the qualities to distinguish herself in society, and even to claim Mr. Bingley’s attention if she so desired. But not at the expense of other people’s misery.”

  Jane made no reply to this, and instead asked Elizabeth about her conversation with the Colonel. Elizabeth detailed her part in the conversation with him but reserved some for her own musing. It was not that she distrusted Jane, but she had to think over what all this meant. What the Colonel had revealed to her. To know that Mr. Darcy had spoken to his cousin about her was puzzling.

  “Was this another attempt on his part to intimidate me?”

  Sleep evaded her as her questions multiplied. She made it her purpose not to think any more of it, but Mr. Darcy’s face appeared before her eyes, as though to torment her. And the more she fought the idea of him, the closer he got to her. She did not know if she was dreaming, but she recalled Mr. Darcy at Netherfield Park, as she had seen him one morning, returning from his morning ride. She was at the window, with him unaware of her presence there. The vitality of the morning exercise had changed his countenance and he seemed less formal; he was smiling and engaged with Mr. Bingley in a discussion about the race they had just had. Something must have amused him greatly, for he gave a peal of laughter, and Elizabeth was taken aback by how different he appeared.

  His features were handsome and well-proportioned, his face becoming much more pleasant. There was also the elegance of his body atop the horse that impressed her. Much was lost to her of the discussion between the two men, but she could hear that his voice sounded less cold or even less harsh, and she found herself smiling, as though she was an invisible participant in their conversation. Suddenly, the thought of finding Mr. Darcy pleasant shocked her, and she dismissed the idea at once as a ridiculous notion. No, Elizabeth rejected the idea that she could find Mr. Darcy appealing.

  No, she could not, and she would not.

  Chapter 3

  My dear fellow,

  I shall have to beg your forgiveness for sending this message instead of coming to Kent as I have agreed. It has proven impossible for me to keep my word as unforeseen events have required my presence in town and I shall be here for a couple of days more. I shall not go into the details or into the nature of my urgency, for I have promised my absolute discretion about it to the party involved but rest assured that there is no cause for alarm. However, I expect the situation to be resolved within a few days, thus relinquishing me from any further obligation to remain here.

  The rest of my time is dedicated to Georgiana, as she is my duty as well as my pleasure, and from what I have observed, I feel that she is still not accustomed to living in these new circumstances. I am still of the opinion that it was a wise decision to have her here and that it will be more than beneficial to her to move in a more sophisticated circle and meet as many new people as possible, under the correct supervision of course. The past has not been forgotten I am afraid. Mrs. Annesley has proven more than competent in this respect but she cannot provide everything Georgiana needs.

  I have, however, news that may be of interest to you and it was as enchanting to me as it will, I am sure, be surprising to you. Georgiana and I have made the acquaintance of persons you are rather familiar with. Miss Elizabeth Bennet and her sister, Jane.

  The circumstances of our meeting were peculiar - and I shall not go into them at length here. Georgiana was enchanted to meet Miss Elizabeth and Miss Bennet. She says that the latter made the most favourable impression, being both handsome and well-mannered, but I found Miss Elizabeth more interesting and I have to agree with you, she does possess “a pair of fine eyes”, and, I suspect, an even quicker mind. But the most surprising thing about her was learning that she was heading to the very place you are now to visit a friend of hers. I find it a remarkable curiosity and quite the coincidence that you two will be in the same place at the same time.

  Well, you deserve a longer letter than this, but I promise the details will be more than sufficient once we meet.

  Yours,

  Col. R. Fitzwilliam

  Darcy looked over the letter once more, meditating on its contents, folded it back into the envelope and slipped it into his pocket. A brief smile appeared on his face, remembering the last part of the Colonel’s letter and knowing full well that each word was carefully chosen to tease him. Darcy could not decide if he had indeed made a mistake in coming here. He certainly had not intended to do so. He had postponed and changed his mind a thousand times until he arrived here.

  And all of it was done on an impulse to see Miss Elizabeth Bennet again. To know that she was in good health and…. He knew that all the reasons he had told himself were lies; he was lying to himself and felt sick because of it. He was here because he wished to see HER.

  He reminded himself of all the reasons he could think of against coming here, but none of them were strong enough to win against his wish to be in her presence again. It had been several months since he saw her last and the separation felt impossible to bear. She was from a neighbourhood in which mothers had no better occupation than to seek a husband of means for their daughters, employing all schemes necessary. She was one of them, until she was not.

  The change surprised even himself, for it was most unexpected. Elizabeth Bennet had a quickness of mind that challenged his own; far from being impertinent she was exact in her way of seeing things and not afraid to speak her mind. “What did she think of me when we left Netherfield?”

  Caroline Bingley told him of Miss Jane Bennet’s reply to her letter from Netherfield Park. It had been a most civil message, expressing her wish for a safe trip and a reunion in the near future, but there was no mention of Elizabeth in it. All he could think about on his return journey to London was whether Elizabeth’s thoughts were of him; if she had felt his departure as much as he had felt it himself.

  They had to leave, each for reasons of their own. Miss Bingley was convinced that Charles was making a mistake in pursuing Jane Bennet. He saw on his own the lack of attachment the young lady had towards his friend; the little she displayed was of an uncertain nature, as he had heard on several different occasions Mrs. Bennet boasting of her certainty in an upcoming union. It could have been that Jane Bennet was acting solely on the advice of her mother.

  Darcy knew he had another reason to leave Netherfield as soon as possible. It had cost him to admit it even to himself that he was in danger of paying too much attention to a lady he had no wish to connect himself to. And now here he was again, with no greater desire than to see her once more.

  “I am behaving foolishly,” he thought, “I am doing exactly what I have advised Charles not to do. I am seeking the attention of a young lady I know I should not seek. There are plenty of objective reasons not to do so. Her family, her lack of connections, her lack of fortune… I know my reasons to be rational. And yet, none of these reasons matter.”

  There was also Miss Elizabeth’s preference for Wickham, which bothered Darcy the most. Mr. Darcy frowned at the remembrance of the most unpleasant encounter in Meryton, when he came face to face with Miss Elizabeth and that scoundrel. They appeared to be in each other’s confidence, and the thought of it pained him, for he had first-hand knowledge of the man’s despicable character and what he had intended for Georgiana. He almost destroyed her reputation yet had suffered no consequences for his shamelessness. His life went on unaffected, creating more victims in the process, and now crossing his path again in the most unexpected manner. “What if he has secured Miss Elizabeth’s affection? What if she has fallen under his spell with his convincing words of honesty and honour. I must speak to her. I nee
d to convince myself that she has not…”

  The torment came upon him once more, thinking again about the very reason that had brought him to Rosings, as it had done so many nights since he left Netherfield Park.

  “Maybe I should end my stay here and return to London where I can think more clearly. What I have done is plain insanity….”

  “What news have you got from London?” Lady Catherine de Bourgh asked impatiently, once she saw his preoccupation, interrupting Mr. Collins, who was reading her the intended sermon for the Sunday service. “I demand to know at once the contents of the letter. Is it related to Georgiana?”

  “No, it is a letter from Colonel Fitzwilliam informing me he has had to postpone his arrival in Kent,” Darcy replied.

  “Oh, and this is the source of your dismay?”

  “No, he was just …. It is of no importance; he has written to me to tell me that he is kept in town by some important matters.”

  “Of course, he is. Any relative of mine deals only with important matters. My late father was the same, always resolving some affair of importance. I see that this trait has passed to his descendants as well.” Remembering that she was herself engaged in an important conversation, Lady Catherine turned to Mr. Collins and said, “Mr. Collins, I command you to speak in church about the importance of such men like my father and Colonel Fitzwilliam. I expect you shall find examples in the bible to write into your sermon.”

  Mr. Collins nodded, closing the heavy book of sermons he had brought with him, hoping his resigned sigh would not be audible to her ladyship’s ears.

  “Tomorrow at noon you may come to tell me what you have thought of.”

  “Tomorrow?” Mr. Collins answered in a panic. Lady Catherine scrutinized him with her gaze,

  “You have other engagements?”

  “No, not at all, your ladyship. It is just…”

  “Speak up!”

  “Tomorrow at noon we expect guests,” Mr. Collins spoke in a much quieter tone than usual, defeated by Lady Catherine’s insistence.

  “For goodness’ sake, speak up, Mr. Collins!” Mr. Collins cleared his throat and repeated the words. “What guests? Why have I not been informed about it? Who are they?” Mr. Collins knew he had told her ladyship about his guests’ stay but found it impossible to utter the words and remind her ladyship about it. Instead, he looked up, wishing for divine help that was not forthcoming.

  “Mr. Collins’s relatives are arriving for a visit tomorrow,” Mr. Darcy answered, looking directly at Lady Catherine. “On Mrs. Collins’ side, I think.” Lady Catherine stared at her nephew in astonishment as he spoke, unable to grasp that he should be informed of such details. “Mr. Collins spoke to you of the details when I was here last month, Lady Catherine.”

  “Your ladyship has been generous enough to invite them as guests for dinner one night.”

  Lady Catherine was appeased at having her curiosity satisfied.

  “And who are they again?”

  “My wife’s father, her sister and a friend of Mrs. Collins, Miss Elizabeth Bennet, who is also a relative of mine.”

  “Miss Bennet… I expect she is not the one who turned you down, Mr. Collins.”

  Mr. Collins reddened and nodded.

  “I am afraid she is quite impetuous.”

  “It is a good thing that she comes and sees what she has missed.” Lady Catherine moved her attention back to her nephew and saw him once again amused by something she had no knowledge of. The sentiment was a most irritating one, for she liked to be informed of all that was going on around her to allow her to deliver an opinion or at least to give some sound advice. “Now, Mr. Collins, I wish to speak to my nephew in private,” she commanded, and Mr. Collins happily agreed to leave her ladyship’s presence. Once Lady Catherine was alone with her nephew she began to speak again.

  “Now, Fitzwilliam, have you thought about what we discussed the other day?”

  Darcy frowned, knowing exactly the subject of Lady Catherine’s enquiry.

  “Yes, I have.”

  “And? Lord Stuart is an excellent choice for Georgiana. I am acquainted with the family well enough to……”

  “She is too young to be thinking about marriage,” Darcy dismissed the idea instantly, hoping that would put an end to it.

  But Lady Catherine was unconvinced and went on, “I was the same age when I became engaged to Sir Lewis and no one said I was a child. You and Colonel Fitzwilliam are too protective of her, nephew. I should have taken guardianship of her when your parents perished and brought her to live here with me.”

  “I can assure you that Georgiana is well provided for. She is neither a prisoner of mine nor Colonel Fitzwilliam’s.”

  “But you are both men, and she needs female guidance and companionship as well. Who are her female companions and friends?”

  “Miss Bingley is extremely fond of her.”

  “Miss Bingley? I have never heard of a family of that name. Have they returned from the Indies recently?”

  “No, her father made his fortune in trade,” Darcy replied, knowing exactly what reaction he would be provoking in his aunt. The shock could be read on Lady Catherine’s countenance, but she contained her words, allowing only a small puff. “His son, Mr. Charles Bingley, is a personal friend of mine. They are honourable people.”

  “You are just like your father, collecting stray, odd people to take care of. I do not trust these Bingleys! They are not US. They will never be US, nephew. To have money made in that fashion is utterly vulgar. I fear now more for Georgiana’s future. If you are not careful, Georgiana might fall under the persuasion of unscrupulous individuals, female or male as they might be. Do you want her to make a disadvantageous marriage to some scoundrel because she knows no better?”

  “No, but I would not have her forced into a marriage of convenience either; I would wish her to marry for love.”

  “Love,” Lady Catherine scoffed. “What a foolish concept to consider as sufficient reason for marriage! I know no happy marriages built on the foundation of love. God has not created people for this; it is a foreign notion introduced by people who own nothing to justify their existence. If we were to marry for love, we would all be penniless and with no names attached to the family. This is why your mother and I spoke of the engagement between you and Anne.”

  “My parents were happily married I believe,” Darcy was becoming enraged and Lady Catherine insisted no more. “Forgive me, Aunt, I do not mean to cross you, but be assured that I shall never allow anything bad to happen to Georgiana. I could not.”

  “As you wish. But be careful who you allow in the vicinity of your sister. You can keep your name clean only when it has not been scared by a scandal beyond repair. Pride, Fitzwilliam, is our weapon to defend ourselves against those who wish nothing more than to see us reduced to their level. You have a responsibility to protect Pemberley from pollution. It is a great responsibility bestowed on you.”

  When the conversation was over, Darcy took the opportunity to excuse himself, expecting the fresh air of the morning would help to clear his thoughts. He knew only too well Lady Catherine’s opinions, and although he did not always adhere to them, he saw their merit. He had experienced men like Mr. Wickham, he had seen the behaviour of mothers like Mrs. Bennet, nudging their daughters towards the wealthiest man in their proximity.

  “And here I am desiring to see a young lady who is connected with both categories I despise the most. What shall I do now?” Darcy pondered for a few moments more, then headed directly to the stables and asked to have his horse prepared for a long ride.

  “Are you leaving for London, sir?” the servant asked, most perplexed.

  Darcy answered without looking at him.

  “I’d better do it, if I have any sense left in me.”

  Chapter 4

  Mrs. Gardiner was alone in the drawing-room when the maid entered carrying a letter. With the twins in their chambers after teasing Jasper for the last hour, much to the dog’
s delight, Jane out of the house purchasing a new pair of gloves and Mr. Gardiner with business to attend to, she was hoping for time to finish the needlework she had begun the previous week.

  The handwriting on the front told her little about the sender; it was simple and elegant, without embellishments of any sort, betraying a youthful hand. The letter was addressed to her niece and awaited no immediate reply. Mrs. Gardiner studied it some more, peeking at it from time to time until Jane returned to the house.

  When Jane read the contents of the letter it was revealed that it was a message from Berkeley Square, and it contained an invitation for tea from Miss Darcy. Mrs. Gardiner was most surprised. She was aware that the previous visit had been due to events of a most extraordinary nature but expected no renewal of the acquaintance or repeated invitation.

  “Are you thinking of not going, Jane?” Mrs. Gardiner said after Jane put the letter down with a confused look on her face. “Miss Darcy has been most kind, you said you liked her very much.”

  “She has been very friendly towards Elizabeth and me,” Jane spoke at last.

  “But my dear Jane, you still do not wish to engage with her because of Mr. Bingley? Are you afraid you might encounter him?”

  “I’d rather not see him at all. I would not know what to say to him. And it would be even worse if I was to meet Miss Bingley. You remember when she was here in this house and what she told me. She might even accuse me of manipulating the situation with Miss Darcy to my advantage.”

  “Jane, we cannot live our lives based on what other people might think. Besides, she showed little delicacy towards you to inform you so bluntly that her brother was pursuing Mr. Darcy’s sister. And even if it were true, you cannot reject the invitation just because of his preference for her. You said you are not thinking of him anymore, did you not?”

  Jane sent the reply the same afternoon, thanking Miss Darcy for her invitation and announcing her intention to visit the following day, when she would be accompanied by Mrs. Gardiner. Throughout the evening and for part of the night, Jane thought about the situation and finally resolved to put aside what she felt – and did not dare to reveal to anyone – not even Elizabeth. She was deeply hurt by the abrupt way Mr. Bingley had departed from Netherfield and all that had happened since. She came to London with a slight hope that they would meet again; her presence in town must have been known to him for she had sent Miss Bingley a letter as soon as she arrived. But when that lady came – days later – she was cold towards her. Still, Jane sought to excuse her, but when it became evident that Miss Bingley did not wish to see her again, she understood. It was the first and the last time she cried over the whole matter. Oh, how she wished she were more like Elizabeth, who had the strength to laugh at such a situation, to mock the follies and vices of others. She did miss her sister and now that she had departed for Kent, Jane longed, even more, to have her by her side.