The Very Essence of Love Read online

  Darcy smiled, and it was the first time Jane had seen him thus. She felt the uneasiness of the astonishing conversation leave her body.

  “You are truly kind, Miss Bennet, and you have suffered an injustice. And I am entirely to blame for it, for I allowed other things to happen to make Miss Bingley think she was in the right to look down on you. I have allowed injustice towards you, Miss Bennet, and I am sorry for it.”

  Puzzled by his words, Jane put down her needlework. He continued, “I have always believed you to be a decent and honourable young lady, you and your sister Elizabeth,” he added, not without some emotion in his voice that did not escape his companion, “but I have judged most severely. I imagined you to be cold and unattached to the affection of a friend I cared deeply for. All your suffering of the past months has been caused by none other than the person standing in front of you now.”

  Jane could not reply, both modesty and shock prevented it. Instead she nodded gently, accepting his words of repentance. She had never heard a man show such utter regret for something he had done, and his words were felt deep inside her.

  “I just hope it is not too late.”

  “Late, sir? Late for what?”

  Darcy did not reply, instead, his gaze was drawn to the window, where a carriage had stopped in front of the house. He smiled gently, turned to his companion in the room and simply said, “Miss Bennet, I believe you have a visitor. Please, listen to him for he was a victim of circumstance as much as you have been. And if you still find affection in your heart for him, it would give me much pleasure to know that I have atoned for my sins.”

  Jane stood up, unsure of what to expect. A servant entered the room and simply announced, “Mr. Charles Bingley to see you, Miss Bennet!”

  Chapter 18

  The letter arrived at Longbourn around noon. Mrs. Bennet, Kitty and Lydia missed its arrival by mere chance as they were just setting off to pay their weekly visit to the seamstress and to Mrs. Phillips. Mary and Lizzy were seated in their chambers, each engaged in different activities. Mary was practising the tune of a new psalm she had started learning earlier in the week. Elizabeth, on the other hand, sat in comfort with a book on her lap near the window, glancing from time to time outside, still reeling from the energy of the walk she took after breakfast.

  It was from this position at the window that Elizabeth saw Mrs. Hill arriving in great agitation. Realising that something of significance must have occurred, Elizabeth left her room worried. It was soon revealed that Mrs. Hill, who had been to the town to buy some meat from the butcher, carried a letter. Before Elizabeth could address her, the faithful maid vanished into her father’s study.

  Curious as to the contents of the letter, Elizabeth set her book aside and directed herself towards her father’s study as well. She knocked gently on the door and entered as soon as she was given permission.

  “I am so glad you came, Lizzy! I was about to call for you.” His voice was serious, as if some hard truth was about to be spoken. Mrs. Hill, sensing the gravity of the moment, smiled uncertainly and left the room, leaving the father and daughter alone. “I have received a letter from your uncle Gardiner. I think you should read it, Lizzy.”

  Her father handed her the letter and sat down, observing Elizabeth’s reaction as she read the following lines,

  My dear Mr. Bennet,

  I am writing to you with a sense of urgency that this matter requires. I know it is not I who should be writing this letter to you. However, in my defense, I feel that the events which I am to tell you about have caused such a great commotion in the ladies of the house that I am the only one left with enough restraint to deliver the news to you in a calm and proper manner.

  Not to make this matter long, I say only this. Be prepared, Mr. Bennet, for one of your daughters will soon be a bride. A wedding is on the way. I am, of course, referring to Jane, your first-born, who accepted in the course of the past day the marriage proposal offered to her by Mr. Bingley. Of course, you shall have the last word regarding the marriage, but I do not expect it to be a refusal.

  Ask me not for the details, for I do not have them. These events have unfolded quite rapidly I am afraid and they produced much excitement, perhaps a little too much, within my family. In writing to you, I wish to spare you the same agitation I have felt during the past days,

  Mrs. Gardiner and I will accompany Jane on her return to Longbourn….

  Elizabeth’s shock could not have been greater when she finished reading.

  “Jane is getting married. To Mr. Bingley?” she uttered incredulously while looking over the contents of the letter once again. “I do not understand any of it, Papa.”

  “If you do not, imagine how I must view all of this,” Mr. Bennet replied, perplexed. “I swear, if I did not know your uncle to be a serious sort of fellow, I would have called it a hoax.”

  “No, Papa! Uncle Gardiner would never do such a thing. But I do not understand… Last time I spoke to Jane she said she felt nothing for Mr. Bingley.”

  “There you go!” Mr. Bennet sighed, as he sat down in his chair, “I am extremely happy for Jane, but you young ladies change your minds so often that one can barely know what to expect from you. Of course, now I have to tell your mother the news and trust me, that will not be an easy task. Oh Lord, she shall speak of nothing else for months to come!”

  Elizabeth smiled, knowing her father’s words to be true. He was not amused by such a perspective, however.

  “Mrs. Bennet needs to be informed before Jane arrives home. I expect Mr. Bingley to return as well, so we must give her fair warning.”

  “Do you want me to deliver the news to her, Papa?”

  Mr. Bennet sighed with relief, “Oh, my Lizzy, what would I do without you?” Elizabeth approached her father and placed a soft kiss on his cheek, while he caressed her face with tenderness. “I have to confess that part of me is glad it is not you. I know it is wrong of me to say it, but you are my Lizzy, my extraordinary child, and only the best of gentlemen could claim your hand in marriage. And I am afraid such creatures do not exist.”

  The declaration had an odd effect on Lizzy, stirring in her a mixture of joy and sadness. Joy for she felt loved and cherished by her parent, and sadness for the selfishness he showed in wanting to have her tied to him permanently. If she was to remain at Longbourn for the rest of her life, it would be a penitence too long to bear. Elizabeth left her father’s desk blinking back tears, and she scolded herself for indulging in such thoughts. When she arrived back in her own chamber, she read Mr. Gardiner’s letter once more, searching for new clues, or at least an indication of how the events had unfolded. She could find none however, the letter revealing too little even for her imagination.

  When Mrs. Bennet returned home, Elizabeth waited until after dinner before asking for a private audience with her mother. She had counted on the approaching night and the long day Mrs. Bennet had had to temper her enthusiasm, but she was wrong. After a short moment in which she was left without words, Mrs. Bennet gave a cry of happiness that brought Kitty, Lydia and Mary to her chamber instantly for clarification.

  “My darlings,” she said while taking each one of her daughters into a motherly embrace, “This is the most wonderful day of my life. Tell them, Lizzy! Your sister is getting married.”

  “Who, Lizzy?” Mary asked in disbelief, unsure what to make of her mother’s effusion.

  “No, no, not Lizzy! Who would have Lizzy when she is so impertinent? Jane, of course! Your sister Jane is getting married to Mr. Bingley! Oh, the joy of it! I expect the wedding to be soon, I do not imagine Mr. Bingley will wish to wait for long. Maybe even in the next two weeks!”

  “But, Mama,” Lydia exclaimed, suddenly remembering something, “I shall be going to Brighton in two weeks’ time. Jane cannot be married in two weeks because it means I cannot go to Brighton!”

  “You shall not be able to go, Lydia!” Kitty added salt to the wound, much to Lydia’s despair.

  Mrs.
Bennet stopped to look at her favourite daughter, striving to find some words to resolve the horrible dilemma she was in, “Oh, my love, we shall see about it.” The answer seemed not to satisfy Lydia at all, for she started to weep at seeing her plans suddenly in ruins.

  “It is not fair, Mama! Not fair, at all!”

  Mrs. Bennet’s loud enthusiasm and Lydia’s inconsolable suffering continued long into the evening, but there was still hope that the situation would be resolved by the morning. However, it was not, and it lasted for three more days until Jane finally arrived at Longbourn, accompanied by Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner, their twins and Jasper, who was all too excited to be on fresh grounds.

  The reunion was a most pleasant one for the Bennet sisters, who had plenty to tell one another, but they did not manage to speak until later that night when they retired to their chambers. As they sat next to each other on the bed, Elizabeth noticed how Jane glowed with happiness. She felt it in her turn and eagerly expected Jane to start speaking.

  “Lizzy, I feel so much happiness I cannot believe it possible. I never thought that I could feel like this.”

  “Yes, I do feel it has been unexpected, especially since the last time we talked and you told me that you felt nothing for Mr. Bingley anymore.” Even with the cover of the night, Elizabeth could see that Jane blushed, recalling what she had once said.

  “Mr. Bingley has been a victim in all this, as I have been. He has suffered as I have and tried to get on with his life with the best of intentions, as I have done.” Lizzy must have appeared unconvinced by her sister’s words, as she felt compelled to add, “He thought me indifferent, unattached to him, Lizzy, and upon the advice of some friends, he acted accordingly. I have forgiven him, Lizzy, because I know him to be true and steady in his feelings towards me.”

  “Friends? I do not believe they can be called friends,” Elizabeth replied, knowing that Jane was speaking about Mr. Darcy in particular.

  “You are too harsh a judge. Yes, you can be friends with someone and still fail them. We are all prone to make errors of judgement, but we must do our best to rectify those errors. As Mr. Darcy did.”

  “Mr. Darcy?”

  “Yes, he explained everything to me - his part in separating me and Mr. Bingley. Of course, he had help from Miss Bingley. Yet I do believe Mr. Darcy to be a gentleman of great character, who is humble enough to ask for forgiveness when he is in the wrong. It is a rare thing in people, you know.”

  “Mr. Darcy? The proud Mr. Darcy… humble?”

  “Yes, I think that we have all misjudged him, Lizzy. You, me, everyone. Quite unfairly. Undeservingly. I saw him suffer as I have seen no other man, and I have a feeling that he is still hurting, with the way Miss Darcy behaves when he is around.”

  “What exactly does she do?”

  Jane turned to face Elizabeth as she recalled the last days she had spent in the Darcys’ household. “She is still indifferent to his gestures of affection. I feel she has built a wall around herself, designed especially to keep Mr. Darcy out. I could never understand it; to me, she has always been so affectionate, so full of trust.”

  “That is odd!”

  “I feel Miss Darcy sees her brother as a stranger. And she does not wish to reveal her reasons.”

  With these words, the nightly conversation concluded and Elizabeth found she had much to consider. Jane’s marriage, Mr. Darcy’s involvement in reuniting Jane and Mr. Bingley, Miss Darcy’s aloofness regarding her brother. Elizabeth’s thoughts were not clear on any of these subjects. A maelstrom of emotions drove her thoughts in all directions. At times, she found some interpretations to be better than others, but when she woke up in the morning, she felt she still had no answers.

  The manor was full for the next few days with all sorts of small events; from the twins’ curiosity to explore the grounds of the estate with Jasper and Lizzy as their companion, to the agitation that Jane’s upcoming wedding caused in the neighbourhood. As expected, Mrs. Bennet could not refrain herself from sharing the happy tidings with all her acquaintances, and soon all of Meryton came to pay their due and express their happy wishes for the union. Even Mr. Wickham came to convey his best wishes, but Elizabeth cared nothing for his presence. She spoke to him in the same manner as she spoke to any of those acquaintances that passed through the house - rarely and without real interest. She was polite, obliging and amiable, but Mr. Wickham had lost all his charm for her and she felt glad about it.

  The groom was also expected to arrive any day soon. Each day that he was not at Netherfield Park was met with rumours that he had changed his mind or even worse. Jane was serene despite all the gossip and simply smiled when subtle insinuations were thrown in her direction by Mrs. Phillips, much to the dismay of Mrs. Bennet. She received a letter from Mr. Bingley each day in which he expressed his wish to be quickly reunited with his beloved.

  Jane was happy and content.

  Chapter 19

  “Have you heard, Mr. Bennet?” Mrs. Bennet asked her husband on Wednesday morning, “My sister Phillips has written to inform me she has seen the carriage going to Netherfield Park!”

  “Well, my dear, I have no intention of mistrusting Mrs. Phillips’ intelligence on the matter,” he said, and returned to his breakfast, ignoring the subtle insinuation made by his wife to verify the event as soon as possible. Elizabeth exchanged a quick glance with him and saw him hiding a smile.

  “I do believe we should wait for Mr. Bingley to pay us a visit,” Mrs. Gardiner intervened, feeling she could temper her sister’s enthusiasm. “If he indeed has arrived, he will come to see Jane today.”

  Mrs. Bennet felt vexed at such a suggestion and, in general, at the people around her for not indulging her curiosity. Turning to Jane, she asked her if she had received a message. She replied she had not. Such opposition from all corners only strengthened Mrs. Bennet’s determination to seek an answer.

  When she returned to the drawing-room, Elizabeth found her mother in whispered conversation with the Gardiner twins. The image struck her as odd, but she was not able to understand its meaning until later on when the twins and Jasper were nowhere to be found inside the house. Mrs. Gardiner was desperate to find them – it was unlike them to disappear for a long time without telling anyone where they were.

  A search party was dispatched at once and Elizabeth started looking in the places they had visited the day before, for which Jasper had shown great enthusiasm. She moved quickly, listening carefully to any noise she could distinguish in the wood nearby.

  When Elizabeth reached the end of the lane, she thought she heard a soft sobbing; she could not be sure it was that or just her imagination. She called Eve and Annabella’s names, hoping she would get a response in return.

  “Lizzy!” a voice cried from further ahead. “We are here! Please come quickly!” Elizabeth hurried her pace, treading on old twigs that creaked under her boots. When she reached the place where the noises were coming from, she saw the twins in tears, holding hands.

  Eva and Annabella ran to her at once, held her tightly around the waist, and while sobbing harder Eve said, “Lizzy, Jasper has fallen into a pit! He saw a rabbit and chased it.” Eve clung even harder to Lizzy’s dress, hiding her face in it. Her sobbing touched Elizabeth. She caressed the little girl’s hair and encouragingly and asked, “Show me where he is.”

  “Get him out Lizzy, please!” Eve sobbed some more while taking Elizabeth to the edge of the pit, where Jasper could be heard whining in despair. The dog was covered in mud and frightened, as he desperately tried to pull himself up, failing because of the slippery walls.

  “Is he going to die?” Annabella joined her sister in her pleading for help, as the dog intensified its howling.

  “I do not think so, but he is going to need some help to get out. The pit is not that deep though,” Elizabeth looked around for something she could use to help the dog but found nothing.

  “We only wanted to see the carriage of the duke,” Annabella said, when Elizabe
th paused, frustrated by the lack of a solution.

  “What duke?”

  “The one Aunt Bennet told us about this morning that lives in the park. I have never seen a duke before. She said that his carriage is covered in gold and is pulled by white horses. And we had to tell her if we saw it.”

  “Mama has crossed the line this time,” Elizabeth thought, furious at her mother’s foolish plan. However, she faced the girls and held them in an embrace. “It is not your fault; Jasper is a curious dog, it is no one’s fault really. Now, wipe your tears because I shall need your help.”

  Elizabeth stood up, looking into the pit again. She took off her bonnet and gloves and handed them to Eve, who looked in amazement at her cousin.

  “I shall go into the pit to get him out. It is the only way!”

  “But you are a girl. Girls are not supposed to do such things. At least, this is what our nanny says whenever we are at the park.”

  “Your nanny is not here, is she?” Elizabeth sat on the edge of the pit, looking for a spot to support her foot; she found it in an old root that was protruding from the left wall. Her hands clung to twigs, while she strove to find other spots for stability. Finally she reached the bottom of the pit, where she took the frightened Jasper in her arms.

  “Now listen to me. I shall need your help. I am going to climb back up and you must take Jasper from me.”

  The ascent proved to be more difficult than Elizabeth had expected. The mud was slippery and her attempts were doomed to start over and over again. She was getting tired, and she stood with the dog in her arms, exhausted by the exercise. She looked up, but no longer saw the twins at the edge of the pit. She called their names several times until a voice came back with an answer.

  It was Eve, her voice sounded much more hopeful than Elizabeth could have imagined was possible.

  “Lizzy, we found the duke! He is going to save you!”